Wednesday, April 15, 2015
Isn't it time to stop being so petty?!?
I felt the urge to resurrect this blog because what I wanted to say may be more than a single Facebook post can handle. Here we are approaching the middle of 2015 and the candidates for the next Presidential election are lining up to win our votes.
Before I proceed with my main point, I want to emphasize that who you vote for is your own business and I'm not here to sway your political beliefs. I'm here to question your motives and the motives of everyone (including me!).
In 2008 when Barack Obama ran for President it was pretty clear to me that he and I didn't agree on much of anything pertaining to what was best for this country. I decided that I wasn't voting for him based on this fact alone. My mother (a staunch Democrat) was enthralled with the idea of a black man being President so she put an Obama sign in her front yard and proudly voted for him...TWICE!
Again, I'm not arguing politics here, but during his second run to the White House, one of my relatives on Facebook proudly posted that they voted for Obama because the weren't racist! Even Morgan Freeman, a great actor and someone I learned to read from (Electric Company folks!) said publicly if you don't vote for Obama you are a racist! Now, I was raised to not pay attention to something as insignificant as the color of someone's skin and I took offense to this simplification of my own political beliefs. In fact, I found it ironic because if someone voted for Mr. Obama based solely on the color of his skin then THEY were being racist, not me!
I bring this up now because Hillary Clinton has declared her intent to run for the Presidency. (Shocking, I know!) I'm predicting that many will vote for her and support her because "It's time for a woman to be President". I will not vote for her for the same reason I wouldn't vote for Mr. Obama, our differences of opinion on what is best for the USA.
My question to you is this...isn't voting for Hillary because she's a woman doing a disservice to equal rights? The whole point is to put the best PERSON in the office. Now, if you truly think she is the best person, the most qualified, and you agree with her platform, then by all means you should vote for her! That's how this country works!
But isn't it time for all of us to stop being so petty? Isn't it time to look past gender and past skin color and treat each other as equal human beings? Many of you know I'm a big fan of the television show, Doctor Who. It came under scrutiny for not employing any female writers until very recently. Isn't the important thing to employ GOOD writers and ignore the insignificant things like race and/or gender?
In our attempt to "right the ship" and treat everyone equal and be inclusive we're over correcting. We need to put a stop to this triviality and judge a person for what's on the inside!
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Somebody call Aretha! I need some R-E-S-P-E-C-T!!
Let me start by noting that I just re-read my last post and I stated in there that I would write more often. Yikes! That was almost 3 months ago! Wow! Time sure does move fast and life has a tendency to fly by without us even realizing it.
So this past weekend I was left to deal with some feelings of frustration and anger (yes, I admit it) when I was confronted with the fact that when friends of my kids seem to disrespect either my wife or me (not to mention our home or our possessions), our kids either don't notice it or aren't willing to step up and set their friends straight. Why is this? Well, like I usually do, I took the events personally and stewed on them for some time before approaching my kids to find out what went on.
Case #1: One of my kids had a friend over to our house to spend the night. They had fun, they're both great kids, and I'm happy for that. They DID, however, completely destroy a previously clean bedroom and also leave several items strewn on the lawn outside (including 2 empty plastic bottles) that I had to clean up before I mowed. This irked me because the trash can on the side of the house was a mere 30 second dash from the scene of the crime. What's the big deal? Well, why not say to "friend" when you see them litter (and this applies to my kid too) "Hey! Lets put these in the trash can over there so my Dad doesn't run over them and ruin his expensive lawn mower!" Doesn't seem that out of the question to me!
Case #2: One of our kids was going to the movies with a friend and my wife drove the child to the theater where the friend and his parents were waiting. Apparently the Hooies arrived at a bad scene because when my wife tried to greet them she was given the silent treatment and a general cold shoulder. More than one time! Now, according to my child, this friend was angry at his parents and it had nothing to do with "mom". Well, how are we supposed to know that? What happened to good manners and putting on a "happy" face? If you want to go to the movies that bad with your friend, at least your friend could be grateful when we drive you down there and attempt to make conversation with you? Doesn't seem that out of the question to me!
In the midst of my stewing over this, I took some time to think back on my own actions as a youngster and wondered how many times I inadvertently disrespected my parents or everything they've done for me. It's so easy to do I guess because we're so close to the situations at the time we don't see the forest for the trees! This presents itself in so many ways, the more I sit and think about it, the longer this blog is going to be! LOL
Take chores for example! DO THEM! Not only are you pulling your weight around the house, you GET PAID WHEN YOU DO THEM! If you go to throw out something and kitchen trash is full, take it out and replace the bag! Don't just pile the trash next to the can like it will just get soaked up in the "trash collective" somehow. Keep your room clean! Everything you have is a GIFT from someone who didn't have to give it to you! Take care of it! Show some appreciation! Pick your dang clothes up off the floor and put them in a hamper! Does it really take that much effort to put clothes someplace so the rest of the world doesn't have to see what kind of underwear you wear?!? That's why it's called UNDERwear! Come on!
I'm sorry, this blog ended up as more of a tirade and a place for me to vent without being very constructive. I promise to do better next time (and not wait 3 months)!
Take care,
David
Saturday, January 5, 2013
One For The Angels (and Nurses!)
As many of you have no doubt read (or heard), the last two days have been filled with much emotion at my house. Tears, laughter, anger, frustration, guilt, and finally acceptance have all stopped by and paid their respects while my wife and I have dealt with our youngest son being diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic. Ian is 12 1/2 years old, loves to play football and basketball, and is just beginning to figure out who and what he will be when he grows up. Now, he has to accept this 'life sentence' and deal with being a diabetic on top of everything else (at least until, hopefully, a cure is found).
I'd like to share a quick story and state that I know it's hardly possible, but I hope that someone in particular reads this. That someone is 'Robin', no last name (at least not that I ever knew) but someone who I've never forgotten. Robin was my charge nurse on the third floor at Manatee Memorial Hospital in January of 1981. I was 14 1/2 years old, a freshman at Manatee High School, and just diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic. They called us 'Juvenile Diabetic' back in those days, but the reality was much the same as the one my son Ian is facing now.
Robin entered my life at a time when I was scared. I was just coming to grips with new rules on what I could eat, when I could eat it, what to do if "this" happens or "that" happens. It's a lot for anyone to take in, ask anyone who has had to do it whether they are a parent or the actual patient. The one thing I couldn't bring myself to do was give myself an insulin injection. I've never been a fan of needles (still aren't) and the thought of doing it was not something I was willing to spend much time on. My doctor and other care givers pointed out that I needed to know how to do it so I could take care of myself, or I would be dependent on my mother or someone else to make sure I was taken care of.
One night, I was laying in my hospital bed in a room I shared with 2 elderly men who couldn't hear, didn't talk much and slept a lot. Not sure why I wasn't in pediatrics, but I wasn't. This nurse walks in with a silver tray in her hand, sets it down on the table by my bed and introduces herself. "Hi," she said. "My name is Robin, I'm your charge nurse." She sat down on the side of my bed and said that she'd heard I wasn't able to give myself a shot yet. I admitted to her that I was scared. On the silver tray were 2 syringes, each holding about 5 units of saline solution used for practice. She took one, handed it to me, and said "I want you to give the shot to me." She then presented her left arm to me and smiled. "It's okay, I trust you!"
That was 32 years ago and I can still hear her voice say that to me. "It's okay, I trust you!" I gave Robin the shot, she told me she didn't feel a thing! She then handed me the other syringe and encouraged me to try it again on myself. I did it! Folks, it's hard to explain the feelings I felt. I'd overcome a fear! I regained my freedom to take care of myself and be an individual all because of the extra kindness of one person who said she was a nurse, but I suspect was an angel!
Not the real kind of angel with the wings but one of the countless angels that go about their lives every day making a good impression on those around them with their deeds. Those people whose inate goodness keeps this world from completely tipping toward full on anarchy. Robin was such a person to me. She probably doesn't even remember that evening or remember me. I was just one of countless people she's most likely affected throughout her life and career.
Well, last night I was giving my son his insulin shot before dinner and when it came time to take mine, I handed him my syringe and I told him I wanted him to give it to me. I saw in his eyes what Robin must have seen in mine all those years ago. The words came out without me even realizing it. I said, "It's okay, I trust you!" He gave me my shot and was quite proud of himself! More importantly, he gave himself his first shot later that night and is now doing it all on his own! Thank you, Robin! The gift you gave me, I have paid forward and it felt really good.
I wish I knew your last name, I would track you down and send you a card or some flowers or something, but when I think about it I guess it occurs to me that people like you don't need anything like that. You probably don't need to be told what sort of effect you had because that's not why angels do the things that they do.
Sorry it's been so long since I blogged, I promise to write more soon. Until next time, this one is for the angels (and the nurses) for making this world a better place to be in and for putting happy tears in my eyes.
Take care,
David
I'd like to share a quick story and state that I know it's hardly possible, but I hope that someone in particular reads this. That someone is 'Robin', no last name (at least not that I ever knew) but someone who I've never forgotten. Robin was my charge nurse on the third floor at Manatee Memorial Hospital in January of 1981. I was 14 1/2 years old, a freshman at Manatee High School, and just diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic. They called us 'Juvenile Diabetic' back in those days, but the reality was much the same as the one my son Ian is facing now.
Robin entered my life at a time when I was scared. I was just coming to grips with new rules on what I could eat, when I could eat it, what to do if "this" happens or "that" happens. It's a lot for anyone to take in, ask anyone who has had to do it whether they are a parent or the actual patient. The one thing I couldn't bring myself to do was give myself an insulin injection. I've never been a fan of needles (still aren't) and the thought of doing it was not something I was willing to spend much time on. My doctor and other care givers pointed out that I needed to know how to do it so I could take care of myself, or I would be dependent on my mother or someone else to make sure I was taken care of.
One night, I was laying in my hospital bed in a room I shared with 2 elderly men who couldn't hear, didn't talk much and slept a lot. Not sure why I wasn't in pediatrics, but I wasn't. This nurse walks in with a silver tray in her hand, sets it down on the table by my bed and introduces herself. "Hi," she said. "My name is Robin, I'm your charge nurse." She sat down on the side of my bed and said that she'd heard I wasn't able to give myself a shot yet. I admitted to her that I was scared. On the silver tray were 2 syringes, each holding about 5 units of saline solution used for practice. She took one, handed it to me, and said "I want you to give the shot to me." She then presented her left arm to me and smiled. "It's okay, I trust you!"
That was 32 years ago and I can still hear her voice say that to me. "It's okay, I trust you!" I gave Robin the shot, she told me she didn't feel a thing! She then handed me the other syringe and encouraged me to try it again on myself. I did it! Folks, it's hard to explain the feelings I felt. I'd overcome a fear! I regained my freedom to take care of myself and be an individual all because of the extra kindness of one person who said she was a nurse, but I suspect was an angel!
Not the real kind of angel with the wings but one of the countless angels that go about their lives every day making a good impression on those around them with their deeds. Those people whose inate goodness keeps this world from completely tipping toward full on anarchy. Robin was such a person to me. She probably doesn't even remember that evening or remember me. I was just one of countless people she's most likely affected throughout her life and career.
Well, last night I was giving my son his insulin shot before dinner and when it came time to take mine, I handed him my syringe and I told him I wanted him to give it to me. I saw in his eyes what Robin must have seen in mine all those years ago. The words came out without me even realizing it. I said, "It's okay, I trust you!" He gave me my shot and was quite proud of himself! More importantly, he gave himself his first shot later that night and is now doing it all on his own! Thank you, Robin! The gift you gave me, I have paid forward and it felt really good.
I wish I knew your last name, I would track you down and send you a card or some flowers or something, but when I think about it I guess it occurs to me that people like you don't need anything like that. You probably don't need to be told what sort of effect you had because that's not why angels do the things that they do.
Sorry it's been so long since I blogged, I promise to write more soon. Until next time, this one is for the angels (and the nurses) for making this world a better place to be in and for putting happy tears in my eyes.
Take care,
David
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
The Aurora, CO. tragedy and how the rest of us are reacting
On Friday, July 20th at a midnight screening of the new Batman film, The Dark Knight Rises, a very troubled young man walked into the theater armed with a .12 gauge shotgun a .40 caliber Glock handgun and a semi-automatic rifle with a high capacity drum clip. He threw gas canisters into the theater and then proceeded to open fire on the crowd, killing 12 people and injuring 58 others.
When word of this horrific event reached the world, people acted the way people do to such unimaginable things. Shock, horror, anger, helplessness and then finally sadness. Such feelings are very familiar to me, as I saw this played out once earlier in my life when my fraternal twin brother was shot with an "unloaded" gun at a friend's house and rushed to the emergency room. He eventually ended up in intensive care with a collapsed lung and paralyzed from the waist down. That was now almost 30 years ago. My brother, Donald. Born deaf but very alive and vibrant. Athletic and always active (unlike me) and now unable to walk, run, ride a bike, skate or do anything else the same way ever again.
Our mother and father were grief stricken, as were the parents and family of the boy who shot him. My mother demanded that my father get rid of the handgun we all knew he had but had no idea where it was. To this day my mom is very much anti-gun and against people owning those "things" as she calls them. I get it, I understand and respect her feelings because I shared those same feelings for many years. All this came back to me very clearly as I watched friends and acquaintances lash out in anger on facebook and twitter about how stupid America is for their handgun laws. How we have so many accidents per day, how guns should be outlawed and the world would all come together and sing kum-by-yah around some giant campfire.
I'm sorry, I respectfully disagree. Like I said, I get that reasoning. I too had it at one time, but that's a natural reaction to the feeling of helplessness that we ALL shared when we heard the news and sat there thinking that there "must be some way to prevent these things from happening". I wish that were true! We live in a fallen world. A world with evil in it, and anyone who knows to put on body armor and plan such a horrible massacre is evil, plain and simple.
The gun didn't shoot my brother of its own volition, and the weapons that Mr. Holmes used didn't spontaneously go off and destroy all those lives. If my brother had been paralyzed in a car accident, I can guarantee you that I would still be driving 30 minutes one way every day to work and so would everyone else in my family (including my mother). When Donald was transferred to Lucerne Hospital in Orlando to the Spinal Injury unit, I remember visiting him there and meeting a guy who was paralyzed from the neck down because he was jogging on the beach and tripped on a piece of driftwood! I wonder if anyone of his loved ones ever considered a ban on jogging or driftwood?
To my friends and acquaintances who are against handguns and feel they should be outlawed. Ask yourself, all political rhetoric aside, would someone unafraid to break the law really obey the government telling them to hand over all their weapons? Of course not! So all the law abiding people who have been trained, taken classes, paid for permits, got background checks and everything else turn theirs in and we sit by helpless while the criminals take advantage of an unarmed society and an understaffed and underpaid police force?
I'm not advocating an old west society where everyone straps on an "iron" and there are shootouts in the streets, but it has been proven time and again that criminals will go where they are least likely to get shot. They don't mind jail, but robbing a convenience store where the owner has a shotgun behind the counter is not worth the trouble. You see, it's not the gun but the threat of the gun that keeps crime rates down in places where people are more prone to carry. Doubt it? Compare the crime rates between Texas and New York, or Tennessee and California.
The last instructor I had for my carry permit closed his class by saying "I hope to God the only thing you ever have to shoot is a paper target" and you know what, I hope so too. Please don't let fear and the feeling of helplessness take away the rights of a law abiding citizen who enjoys target shooting with friends and family and who, by simple matter of statistics, keeps the crime rate down in your neck of the woods.
Take care,
David
When word of this horrific event reached the world, people acted the way people do to such unimaginable things. Shock, horror, anger, helplessness and then finally sadness. Such feelings are very familiar to me, as I saw this played out once earlier in my life when my fraternal twin brother was shot with an "unloaded" gun at a friend's house and rushed to the emergency room. He eventually ended up in intensive care with a collapsed lung and paralyzed from the waist down. That was now almost 30 years ago. My brother, Donald. Born deaf but very alive and vibrant. Athletic and always active (unlike me) and now unable to walk, run, ride a bike, skate or do anything else the same way ever again.
Our mother and father were grief stricken, as were the parents and family of the boy who shot him. My mother demanded that my father get rid of the handgun we all knew he had but had no idea where it was. To this day my mom is very much anti-gun and against people owning those "things" as she calls them. I get it, I understand and respect her feelings because I shared those same feelings for many years. All this came back to me very clearly as I watched friends and acquaintances lash out in anger on facebook and twitter about how stupid America is for their handgun laws. How we have so many accidents per day, how guns should be outlawed and the world would all come together and sing kum-by-yah around some giant campfire.
I'm sorry, I respectfully disagree. Like I said, I get that reasoning. I too had it at one time, but that's a natural reaction to the feeling of helplessness that we ALL shared when we heard the news and sat there thinking that there "must be some way to prevent these things from happening". I wish that were true! We live in a fallen world. A world with evil in it, and anyone who knows to put on body armor and plan such a horrible massacre is evil, plain and simple.
The gun didn't shoot my brother of its own volition, and the weapons that Mr. Holmes used didn't spontaneously go off and destroy all those lives. If my brother had been paralyzed in a car accident, I can guarantee you that I would still be driving 30 minutes one way every day to work and so would everyone else in my family (including my mother). When Donald was transferred to Lucerne Hospital in Orlando to the Spinal Injury unit, I remember visiting him there and meeting a guy who was paralyzed from the neck down because he was jogging on the beach and tripped on a piece of driftwood! I wonder if anyone of his loved ones ever considered a ban on jogging or driftwood?
To my friends and acquaintances who are against handguns and feel they should be outlawed. Ask yourself, all political rhetoric aside, would someone unafraid to break the law really obey the government telling them to hand over all their weapons? Of course not! So all the law abiding people who have been trained, taken classes, paid for permits, got background checks and everything else turn theirs in and we sit by helpless while the criminals take advantage of an unarmed society and an understaffed and underpaid police force?
I'm not advocating an old west society where everyone straps on an "iron" and there are shootouts in the streets, but it has been proven time and again that criminals will go where they are least likely to get shot. They don't mind jail, but robbing a convenience store where the owner has a shotgun behind the counter is not worth the trouble. You see, it's not the gun but the threat of the gun that keeps crime rates down in places where people are more prone to carry. Doubt it? Compare the crime rates between Texas and New York, or Tennessee and California.
The last instructor I had for my carry permit closed his class by saying "I hope to God the only thing you ever have to shoot is a paper target" and you know what, I hope so too. Please don't let fear and the feeling of helplessness take away the rights of a law abiding citizen who enjoys target shooting with friends and family and who, by simple matter of statistics, keeps the crime rate down in your neck of the woods.
Take care,
David
Monday, May 14, 2012
Cheat Codes and Participation Trophies - Losing the Art of Losing
I think most parents are coming around to seeing the
futility of participation trophies. The
apex of treating our children's egos like Faberge' eggs has to be the idea of
sports leagues not keeping score in the games because "we're all
winners". Yeah, that's a great
sentiment, but not accurate and also not a good way to prepare little Tommy or
Susie for the real world! In life, there
are times when you "lose" and how you handle that defeat will help to
define your future more than how you react when you "win".
My kids play sports, they're involved in competitions and if no one kept score it would drive me insane because I'd personally have no watermark for knowing when the game or event was OVER! Let's be honest, when you're warming a concrete stadium bench for any length of time, even when it ISN'T raining cats and dogs or below 60 degrees outside and you have to cocoon yourself in a blanket and control the chattering of your teeth so the other parents can hear their kids' names over the P.A. too, you'd like to know when the end is in sight. Right? Is it just me?!?
Back to the subject at hand! I was thinking that this inability to accept loss started with us! If any of you other parents enjoyed video games back in the day, you probably dabbled a bit in cheat codes. Those hidden gems that gave you infinite lives or allowed you to bypass difficult challenges so you could complete a frustrating game? Come on! You've done it! I STILL do it! Now, if I'm stuck somewhere in a game on a puzzle or a mystery, I'll wrack my brains for only so long before I Google it so I can move on. Why? Well, I think Captain Kirk put it the most succinctly in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan when he was explaining why he changed the rules of the Kobayashi Maru simulator to beat the no-win scenario. He simply explained, "I don't like to lose".
Well, no one likes to lose, but I would argue that learning to be a good loser also helps you to learn how to work harder, and be a more gracious winner because you remember what it was like on the other side. Even if you're one of the rare folks who always wins (or seems to) I think you are more gracious in your winning because you see how the flip side is affecting those across the competition from you in their eyes.
Is losing all that bad? Is it so terrible that you HAVE to give trophies to everyone? I don't think so. Sure, kids are going to be sad, vow to quit and never play again, toss their game controller across the room and yell. When they DO win, however, you can see the swagger in their step, the pride in their faces and you know that THEY know it was earned and that can't be replaced!
My first team experience was playing little league baseball at the tender young age of six. I played for District Five in Orchard Park New York for the Abbott 20 Club. My first year was spent sitting on the bench chewing bubble gum and hurling insults at the other team's dugout while the older kids on our team played their hearts out. We won many games and lost a few, it was great! My second year, most of those older kids had moved on up to the next age level and we saw more field time. We lost EVERY game that year! After every game, our coach, Mr. Lynch, took us out for ice cream cones at this little place I can't remember the name of on Abbott Rd. What I do remember is this huge hill in the back that we would lay down on our backs and roll down until we were sick and laughing hysterically. By the time the ice cream was gone and we were in our parents' cars on the way home, losing the game was a distant memory and we were ready for next week's practice. Funny how losing can leave someone with such fond memories, huh?
So to the readers and parents. Let your kids lose! Let them learn! Let them watch those who worked harder or who were blessed with more natural ability take the big trophy and let them feel a bit of envy. It DOES build character and we aren't doing our kids any favors by softening life's blows. Our job is supposed to be to help them THROUGH it, not to make sure it never happens!
Take care,
David
Thursday, May 10, 2012
North Carolina and The End of the World
After North Carolina recently voted to ban gay marriage in their state, there was an immediate uproar across Facebook from people "ashamed" and "embarrassed" at their decision. I honestly wasn't that up on what was going on so I decided to do some reading on it, and in a rare moment of wisdom for me, hold my tongue until I decided exactly how I felt about the issue of gay marriage and the decision of the people of North Carolina.
First, let's establish what I personally believe are the facts. My "facts" may not jibe with yours completely, but in order to figure out how I feel about something, I need to set a baseline, so here is mine.
#1. Gay and lesbian couples want to be married so they can share in the same legal benefits as a heterosexual married couple. By breaking that down, I'm assuming that means:
A.) They want to be able to be listed as "next of kin" should something awful happen and a decision has to be made about the one they love.
B.) They want to be able to provide health benefits to their partner on their insurance
C.) Overall, they want their relationship to be considered as just as legitimate as anyone else in the eyes of the government.
Did I miss anything?
#2. Christians who oppose gay marriage, oppose it based on what is written in the Holy Bible. We are told that God designed marriage as such in Genesis Chapter 2:
"21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[g] and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[h] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said,
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."
So Christians are looking at marriage from God's perspective and what we are taught in the Bible.
Now, full disclosure for those who don't know (and you can stop reading now if this surprises or offends you) I am a Christian. I love the Lord, and I believe in the scriptures. I have many wonderful friends who are Atheists or Agnostics and I love them for their passion, their ethics and many other fine qualities. They're all fine people, if they weren't, I wouldn't be friends with them! I pray for them whether they want me to or not. That being said, I also have friends and family who are homosexual or who have homosexual friends.
So, how does one like me reconcile my desire for my friends to be happy while still being faithful to my beliefs? Well, if you re-read what I've outlined above there should be something very glaring there (again, unless I missed something crucial). What the advocates of gay marriage seem to be longing for is all based on man made law and what the governments of the States or even our Nation define as "legal". So are the opposing sides even talking about the same thing? I guess my question is, if gay people want to have all the legal rights of a married couple, if they want to profess their love for each other and be legitimized in the eyes of the government, why can't that be done and called something ELSE?!?
Let's go with Civil Union. Each couple, heterosexual or homosexual is joined legally in a civil union at the court house when the proper paperwork is filed and fees paid. Once this is done, then have a nice life, enjoy the tax benefits, take care of each other on your insurance, in your wills, etc. For Christians or any members of any other religions, go then and get married in a RELIGIOUS ceremony at your own church after the fact.
Now, why does this matter? Well to the atheists it doesn't (or it shouldn't). It's all about the government and the law of man. To a Christian like myself, who has been married once without Jesus in the mix (and THAT was a dismal failure) and is now enjoying a beautiful marriage and a oneness with my wife that can only come from sharing our walk with the Lord, my covenant with my wife and God in front of friends and family was all about making Jesus part of this relationship. I think this is where we, as a society, are faltering. We have two groups calling two very different things by the SAME name. It comes back to defining parameters and making sure everyone is on the same page.
So, without going into great detail about how government shouldn't have ANYTHING to do with the definition of marriage or who can do what with whomever they like, here's the way it would be in David Hooie's perfect world. You want to denote your partner as the next of kin or the one who makes decisions for you in case you are unable? That's called a Power of Attorney. You want to provide health coverage for the one you love? Who you pay to cover on your insurance should honestly be between you, your employer (if applicable) and the insurance company. It's a business transaction after all If all insurance companies were allowed to compete across state lines for our business, I think we'd find them becoming a lot more flexible on many fronts to get or keep our business!
If you are a Christian and believe that what you have in covenant with God and your spouse is not of this world, then be at peace with that and remember we are also taught that God IS love and Jesus told us to love our neighbors and treat them the way we would want to be treated.
Am I way off base here? Did I miss some key information? Would love to hear your thoughts!
Take care,
David
First, let's establish what I personally believe are the facts. My "facts" may not jibe with yours completely, but in order to figure out how I feel about something, I need to set a baseline, so here is mine.
#1. Gay and lesbian couples want to be married so they can share in the same legal benefits as a heterosexual married couple. By breaking that down, I'm assuming that means:
A.) They want to be able to be listed as "next of kin" should something awful happen and a decision has to be made about the one they love.
B.) They want to be able to provide health benefits to their partner on their insurance
C.) Overall, they want their relationship to be considered as just as legitimate as anyone else in the eyes of the government.
Did I miss anything?
#2. Christians who oppose gay marriage, oppose it based on what is written in the Holy Bible. We are told that God designed marriage as such in Genesis Chapter 2:
"21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[g] and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[h] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man. ”
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man. ”
So Christians are looking at marriage from God's perspective and what we are taught in the Bible.
Now, full disclosure for those who don't know (and you can stop reading now if this surprises or offends you) I am a Christian. I love the Lord, and I believe in the scriptures. I have many wonderful friends who are Atheists or Agnostics and I love them for their passion, their ethics and many other fine qualities. They're all fine people, if they weren't, I wouldn't be friends with them! I pray for them whether they want me to or not. That being said, I also have friends and family who are homosexual or who have homosexual friends.
So, how does one like me reconcile my desire for my friends to be happy while still being faithful to my beliefs? Well, if you re-read what I've outlined above there should be something very glaring there (again, unless I missed something crucial). What the advocates of gay marriage seem to be longing for is all based on man made law and what the governments of the States or even our Nation define as "legal". So are the opposing sides even talking about the same thing? I guess my question is, if gay people want to have all the legal rights of a married couple, if they want to profess their love for each other and be legitimized in the eyes of the government, why can't that be done and called something ELSE?!?
Let's go with Civil Union. Each couple, heterosexual or homosexual is joined legally in a civil union at the court house when the proper paperwork is filed and fees paid. Once this is done, then have a nice life, enjoy the tax benefits, take care of each other on your insurance, in your wills, etc. For Christians or any members of any other religions, go then and get married in a RELIGIOUS ceremony at your own church after the fact.
Now, why does this matter? Well to the atheists it doesn't (or it shouldn't). It's all about the government and the law of man. To a Christian like myself, who has been married once without Jesus in the mix (and THAT was a dismal failure) and is now enjoying a beautiful marriage and a oneness with my wife that can only come from sharing our walk with the Lord, my covenant with my wife and God in front of friends and family was all about making Jesus part of this relationship. I think this is where we, as a society, are faltering. We have two groups calling two very different things by the SAME name. It comes back to defining parameters and making sure everyone is on the same page.
So, without going into great detail about how government shouldn't have ANYTHING to do with the definition of marriage or who can do what with whomever they like, here's the way it would be in David Hooie's perfect world. You want to denote your partner as the next of kin or the one who makes decisions for you in case you are unable? That's called a Power of Attorney. You want to provide health coverage for the one you love? Who you pay to cover on your insurance should honestly be between you, your employer (if applicable) and the insurance company. It's a business transaction after all If all insurance companies were allowed to compete across state lines for our business, I think we'd find them becoming a lot more flexible on many fronts to get or keep our business!
If you are a Christian and believe that what you have in covenant with God and your spouse is not of this world, then be at peace with that and remember we are also taught that God IS love and Jesus told us to love our neighbors and treat them the way we would want to be treated.
Am I way off base here? Did I miss some key information? Would love to hear your thoughts!
Take care,
David
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
My first blog
Wait? ANOTHER Blogger out here spewing forth his opinion on things he should most likely be keeping to himself? Yes! Why, you ask?
Well, the answer is pretty simple. Like everyone else, I have an opinion. Over the last several months I've noticed that most people aren't afraid to share their opinions with everyone they know on Facebook or Twitter and I've always resisted the urge to stick my neck out there because I know that my opinion goes against that of so many of my friends and the listeners of my Doctor Who podcast, Hoo On Who. But if I have to sit there and read about how wrong my feelings are and how stupid and backwards I am for thinking/feeling the way I do, shouldn't I be allowed a fair and proper defense for my stances?
I don't expect to sway anyone else from their beliefs, but it seems to me that we've gotten to a point in this world where you either agree with the masses or you're an idiot. That's the general feeling I get, and I love all my friends. If I didn't, they wouldn't be friends! I don't want them to fall into lock step with me on everything I think or believe, I want them to challenge my beliefs and the way I look at the world. I do, however, want the name calling and the finger pointing that seems to be so popular to stop and there to be some mutual respect for those of us with the unpopular viewpoints.
Thus, the birth of this blog. I'll be spouting off more soon on politics, religion, social beliefs, gun control, parenting, pet ownership and anything else that lights my fire.
I hope you will read and consider. Challenge me where you feel I need it, but more importantly, respect that my viewpoint is mine and I've come to it in much the same way you have come to yours.
Take care,
David
Well, the answer is pretty simple. Like everyone else, I have an opinion. Over the last several months I've noticed that most people aren't afraid to share their opinions with everyone they know on Facebook or Twitter and I've always resisted the urge to stick my neck out there because I know that my opinion goes against that of so many of my friends and the listeners of my Doctor Who podcast, Hoo On Who. But if I have to sit there and read about how wrong my feelings are and how stupid and backwards I am for thinking/feeling the way I do, shouldn't I be allowed a fair and proper defense for my stances?
I don't expect to sway anyone else from their beliefs, but it seems to me that we've gotten to a point in this world where you either agree with the masses or you're an idiot. That's the general feeling I get, and I love all my friends. If I didn't, they wouldn't be friends! I don't want them to fall into lock step with me on everything I think or believe, I want them to challenge my beliefs and the way I look at the world. I do, however, want the name calling and the finger pointing that seems to be so popular to stop and there to be some mutual respect for those of us with the unpopular viewpoints.
Thus, the birth of this blog. I'll be spouting off more soon on politics, religion, social beliefs, gun control, parenting, pet ownership and anything else that lights my fire.
I hope you will read and consider. Challenge me where you feel I need it, but more importantly, respect that my viewpoint is mine and I've come to it in much the same way you have come to yours.
Take care,
David
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